‘Jedi, moli, ljubav’ autor na onome što je naučila o tugi otkad je izgubio partnera

Elizabeth Gilbert se koristi za obradu njezinih najosobnijih iskustava u njezinu pisanju, i to sada ponovno radi mjesecima nakon što joj je partner Rayya Elias izgubio od raka u dobi od 57 godina.

Gilbert, autor najprodavanijih podsjetnika za 2006 “Jedi, moli, ljubavi”, podijelio je srdačnu poruku o tugu s njezinim sljedbenicima Instagrama u srijedu.

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Dear Ones: This picture of me and Rayya was taken one year ago today, on the morning of our commitment ceremony — a day on which we bound our hearts to each other forever, in front of a small circle of friends. What does “forever” mean, when one of the lovers has terminal cancer? That’s simple: It means FOREVER. Six months ago this week, Rayya died. People keep asking me how I’m doing, and I’m not always sure how to answer that. It depends on the day. It depends on the minute. Right this moment, I’m OK. Yesterday, not so good. Tomorrow, we’ll see. Here is what I have learned about Grief, though. I have learned that Grief is a force of energy that cannot be controlled or predicted. It comes and goes on its own schedule. Grief does not obey your plans, or your wishes. Grief will do whatever it wants to you, whenever it wants to. In that regard, Grief has a lot in common with Love. The only way that I can “handle” Grief, then, is the same way that I “handle” Love — by not “handling” it. By bowing down before its power, in complete humility. When Grief comes to visit me, it’s like being visited by a tsunami. I am given just enough warning to say, “Oh my god, this is happening RIGHT NOW,” and then I drop to the floor on my knees and let it rock me. How do you survive the tsunami of Grief? By being willing to experience it, without resistance. The conversation of Grief, then, is one of prayer-and-response. Grief says to me: “You will never love anyone the way you loved Rayya.” And I reply: “I am willing for that to be true.” Grief says: “She’s gone, and she’s never coming back.” I reply: “I am willing for that to be true.” Grief says: “You will never hear that laugh again.” I say: “I am willing.” Grief says, “You will never smell her skin again.” I get down on the floor on my fucking knees, and — and through my sheets of tears — I say, “I AM WILLING.” This is the job of the living — to be willing to bow down before EVERYTHING that is bigger than you. And nearly everything in this world is bigger than you. I don’t know where Rayya is now. It’s not mine to know. I only know that I will love her forever. And that I am willing. Onward.❤️

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“Ljudi me pitaju kako radim i ne znam uvijek kako odgovoriti na to, to ovisi o danu, to ovisi o minuti.” “Upravo u ovom trenutku, dobro sam. Sutra ćemo vidjeti “, napisao je Gilbert pored fotografije prošle godine iz ceremonije opredjeljenja za parove.

Ono što je naučila od žalosti od smrti Elije je da je to “snaga energije koja se ne može kontrolirati ili predvidjeti”.

Žalost, napisala je, “dolazi i odlazi na svoj raspored, a tuga ne poštuje vaše planove ili vaše želje, a tuga će učiniti sve što vam želi, kad god to želi. Ljubav.”

Elizabeta Gilbert and partner Rayya Elias
Autorica Elizabeta Gilbert, napuštena, otvorila je tužbu koju je doživjela otkako je njezin partner Rayya Elias umro od raka u siječnju.Noam Galai / Getty Slike

Gilbert je izrazio svoju nemoć nad svojim osjećajima, uspoređujući svoju tugu s “tsunamijem”. Bila je “spremna doživjeti, bez otpora” – samo zato što nema izbora u tom pitanju.

Nastavila je objasniti, u svojoj tjeskobi, da je “spremna” prihvatiti sve što je voljela oko Ilije, uključujući zvuk njezina smijeha i mirisa njezine kože, otišli.

Gilbert je objavio 2016. da se odvojila od supruga od 10 godina, Josea Nunesa, brazilskog uvoznika o kojem piše u “Jedi, moli, ljubavi”. Dva mjeseca kasnije, podijelila je da je zaljubljena u Elias, autora, glazbenika i svog dugogodišnjeg najboljeg prijatelja. Otkrila je da se zaljubila u Elias tijekom vremena kada je Elias bio dijagnosticiran rak gušterače i jetre.

U lipnju 2017. Gilbert je obavijestio navijače da su ona i Elias imali ceremoniju opredjeljenja nakon što su prolazili kroz “neke stvarno teške dane zajedno”.

“Naša svečanost nije bilo pravno obvezujuće (nema potrebe upozoriti vlasti, narod!) … samo tiha i privatna proslava onoga što smo dugo znali biti istinito: mi pripadamo jedni drugima”, napisala je u to vrijeme.